Sunday, 24 April 2011

Only Once


Saturday, 23 April 2011

Difference between Potentiality and Reality

Youngest Son: 'Tell me Daddy, what is the difference between 'Potentially' and 'reality'?'

Dad: 'I will show you'
Dad turns to his wife and asks her: 'Would you sleep with Robert Redford for 1 million dollars'?
Wife: 'Yes of course! I would never waste such an opportunity'!

Then Dad asks his daughter, if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for 1 Million dollars?
Daughter: 'Wow! Yes! He is my fantasy!'

So Dad turns to his elder son and asks him: 'Would you sleep with, Tom Cruise for 1 million dollars'?
Elder Son: 'Yeah! Why not? Imagine what I could do with 1 million Dollars! I would never hesitate!'

So the father turns back to his younger son saying: You see son, 'Potentially' we are sitting on 3 million dollars, but in 'Reality' we are living with 2 prostitutes and 1 gay.

Friday, 22 April 2011

Little Johnny

It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Family Problem

Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar drinking shot
after shot.
The Indian man said to the American, 'You know my parents are forcing me to
get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven't
even met once.' We call this arranged marriage. I don't want to marry a
woman whom I don't love... I told them that openly and now have a hell lot
of family problems.'

The American said, talking about love marriages... I'll tell you my story.


Three drunks are standing on top of the Empire State Building.
The first one says to the other two, "You know, it's a funny thing about these wind currents. A person could jump off of this building right now and not even hit the ground; the wind would carry him right back up to the top of the building!"

The second drunk says, "You're crazy!"

The first drunk says, "I'm serious! Watch!" The first drunk jumps off of the building, and the wind carries him right back up to the top!

The second drunk says, "Let me try!"
So the second drunk leaps off of the building and promptly falls to the street below, landing with a hideous SPLAT!

The first drunk smiles, clearly amused. The third drunk looks at him and says, "You know, Superman, you can be a real Jerk When you're drunk!"

Friday, 15 April 2011

Story of The Cock

A farmer rears 25 young hens and 1 old cock. As the old cock could no longer handle his job efficiently, the farmer bought one young cock from the market.

Old cock: Welcome to join me, we will work together towards productivity.

Young cock: What do you mean? As far as I know, you are old and should retire.

Old cock: Young boy, there are twenty-five hens here, can't I help you with some?

Young cock: No! Not even one, all of them will be mine.

Old cock: In this case, I shall challenge you to a competition and if I win, you shall allow me to have one hen and if I lose you will have all.

Husband vs Wife.

1. Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
    It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!
    Wife: No darling, it means,
    With Idiot For Ever.

2. Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,
    So I'd be in your hands all day.
    Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper,
    So I could have a new one everyday.

3. Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.
    Wife: When must I give them to him?
    Doctor: They are for you..

Saturday, 9 April 2011

Wife And Girlfriend Comparisons

Wife is like TV
girlfriend is like MOBILE (Cell)

At home watch TV
go out bring MOBILE

No money, sell TV
Got money change MOBILE

Sometimes enjoy TV
but most of the time play with MOBILE

TV is free for life
but MOBILE if you don't pay, the services will be terminated

TV is big, bulky and most of the time old!
But MOBILE is cute, slim, curvy and very portable at any time

Tuesday, 5 April 2011

Robot Pengesan Pembohongan

    Samad adalah seorang profesor terulung, dia berhasil mencipta robot yang boleh mengesan pembohongan, dia membuat robot itu sehinggakan ketika mendengar pembohongan, robot tersebut akan terus menampar si pembohong itu…

    Samad dengan bangganya membawa robot itu ke ruang tamu dan menunggu anak lelakinya pulang. Tapi anaknya tidak kunjung pulang. Sehingga pagi barulah anaknya pulang.

    “Kamu dari mana?” tanya Samad.
    “Ada pelajaran tambahan ayah”, jawab anaknya.
    *PLANG* Robot tersebut menampar anaknya.

    “Nak, ini adalah robot ciptaan ayah, dia akan menampar sesiapa yang berbohong! Sekarang katakan dengan jujur, kenapa kamu pulang lewat??!


A young husband comes home one night, and his wife throws her
arms around his neck: "Darling, I have great news: I'm a month
overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a
test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."

The next day, a guy from the electric company rings the door-bell, because the young couple hasn't paid their last bill: "Are you Mrs.
Smith? You're a month overdue, you know!"

Sunday, 3 April 2011

Real Game

Play Outside

3 Lelaki Pakistan

Tiga lelaki India dan tiga lelaki Pakistan melakukan perjalanan ke pertandingan Kriket Dunia di England
dengan menggunakan keretapi. Di stesen keretapi lelaki-lelaki Pakistan telah membeli satu tiket setiap
seorang, tetapi tiga lelaki India hanya membeli 1 tiket sahaja untuk mereka bertiga.

"Macam mana kamu bertiga nak naik keretapi sedangkan kamu beli hanya satu tiket?" tanya salah seorang lelaki Pakistan. "Lihat dan belajar", kata salah seorang lelaki India.

Friday, 1 April 2011

Internet oh Internet!

    dah lame ada blog tp nk mls nk update.. biar kosong je.. sebabnye aku malas.. ade pon cukop la.. lagi satu internet tempat aku slow gampang.. hampeh tul.. censor sana.. censor sini..